How To Get Your Ex Back

So, you want to get your ex back? It’s possible if you’re willing to put in the work. Relationships are complicated, issues arise and splits happen. Fortunately, a breakup doesn’t have to mean goodbye for good. Here’s how to get your ex back.

Cut Off All Contact

Your ex needs space post-breakup along with time to miss you. Trying to get back into their lives too soon and too forcefully will only drive a bigger wedge. Instead, your ex needs to experience what it’s like not to have you in his/her life. The most powerful tool when trying to get your ex back is space.

Resist the Urge to Reach Out

Resist any urge to make contact too soon. You want to wait about a month. Yeah, it sounds like an eternity, but both parties need time. Emotions are high right after a split so any time before that 4 weeks is too soon to attempt a reconciliation. Both need time to sort their thoughts, calm down, and put things in perspective. Furthermore, you need time to decide if you really want to give the relationship another try. To suppress any urges to text, call or message online, keep yourself busy. Focus on work, school, spend time with family, friends and don’t hesitate to lean on them for support. As for those who are uncomfortable opening up about their love life, journal or blog. Both are healthy outlets.

Work on Yourself

On top of calming down and deciding if you want to reconcile, use the 4 weeks to work on yourself. Reflect on how you contributed to the breakup then use those realizations to better yourself. Significant improvements can be made within a month like becoming a more effective communicator, improving your patience, temper and/or confidence (especially if jealousy and insecurity soured the romance). You may even want to go out on a date or two to combat needy, clingy behaviors post-split. Seeing that there are other options if things don’t go your way effectively curbs negative behaviors. (Feel free to check out some Online Dating Site Reviews to find out which dating sites are worth joining, or maybe check out some Hook Up Dating Sites if you are just seeking some no strings attached fun)

Then…Slowly Re-Introduce Yourself Into His/Her Life

At this point, your ex is surely thinking about you and all the good times you had. Moreover, he/she wants to know what you’ve been up to. Ideally, you want your ex to reach out to you sometime near the end of the suggested 4 weeks. If not, reintroduce yourself into your ex’s life via text. You want to take things slow so don’t call. Instead, aim for a positive text message that hints at what you had. For example, try something like, “I just saw this movie that reminded me of that time we went on that impromptu trip to the Caribbean. Remember that?” Of course, this is awfully specific, so use the example as inspiration. Such a text is the ultimate icebreaker because it almost ensures a response.

Meet Up

After talking a while, it’s time to meet up. Keep the meeting casual, laid back and whatever you do, don’t call it a date. Just invite your ex to hang out. On the day of, focus on having a good time. Obviously, you want to look good but don’t go in thinking, “Yes! We are getting back together”. Instead, view it as an opportunity to catch up and hopefully preserve the friendship if nothing else. Also, keep the conversation light. The goal is to remind your ex of why they entered a relationship with you in the first place while showing how you’ve changed during your time apart. A successful first meeting will lead to more one on one time together. Expressed feelings, romance, and, if all goes well, a second chance at the relationship will follow.

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Lisa Halpert

Online dating expert

Lisa Halpert is a seasoned online dating expert, offering practical advice and insightful tips to navigate the complexities of digital relationships and find meaningful connections in the virtual world.