The fact of the matter is, hooking up with someone you just met online is never going to be entirely safe. However, there are a few things you can do to minimize the risk. This goes beyond the obvious of safe sex, to precautions you can take ahead of time.
The first thing you need to do is clearly clarify your expectations. What exactly are your intimate boundaries? Are you looking for a one-night only kind of arrangement—or are you open to regular hookups. How much time do you have to invest? And if they want to bareback, you’re not interested. Whatever your boundaries may be, make sure they are crystal clear.
If your hookup doesn’t have a profile pic, request one before you meet—then find a public place to meet in person. What you are looking for is whether they are the same person in the photo, and also what your gut feeling tells you about them. It doesn’t hurt to reclarify your expectations face-to-face. If anything seems awry, call it off.
To ensure that someone has an eye out for you, set up some sort of text messaging code system between you and a non-judgmental BFF. Something that lets them know you are hooking up, where you are, who you are with, and when you are home safe.
Your hookup might have been the consummate gentleman, but they are just a hookup—so there is no reason for them, or you, to stay the night. This person might have fulfilled your fantasy, but that doesn’t mean you should trust them in your home.
If the one-on-one hook up makes you leery, consider hooking up as part of a group. This could mean a variety of things—as an orgy, at a swinger’s event, or at a hookup party. There is always safety in numbers. Even if you don’t know anyone else there, you’ll be part of a larger crowd committed to keeping things safe.
There is an endless list of options for places you can go to meet someone to hook up with—bars, dance clubs, neighborhood hookup spots, apps, and online dating sites. However, sites that are designed for hooking up empower you to take as much time as you need to get to know your new interest before you meet. You can flirt and chat online first, sext, and have a few steamy phone calls or video chats. In fact, with video chat you don’t ever have to meet in person. For those of you who do want to meet in person, hookup websites are designed to help you get super-specific about your sexual fantasies. Whatever they may be, there is someone who is eager to fulfill your desires.
Last but not least, keep things light and fun, and keep your expectations to a minimum. Don’t expect to see your casual encounter again, and don’t expect every hookup to be your best sex yet.
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